High School Memories
Now that OpenOffice supports Word Perfect files, I thought it was time to finally transfer all my old high school files from the floppy disks they were stored on.
It's been an amusing afternoon re-reading old essays and short stories. I was a bit weary because your writing is never as good as you remember, but considering how old I was when I wrote them, and that I had only been at an English school for a couple of years, I was pretty impressed and highly amused.
Let me share when of the cuter stories with you. This is from a Grade 11 English unit on fractured fairy tales a la Politacally Correct Fairy Tales. This is my revision of Aesop's The Lion and the Mouse
The Lion and the Mouse: A Fractured Fairy Tale by Sarah
Once upon a time in a technologically oriented kingdom far, far away, there was a little computer store. As the kingdom grew, and the large monster businesses ate the little, independently owned business for breakfast, the little computer store was forced to file for bankruptcy. It was a sad day when Mr. Little went around placing the “reduced for final sale” tickets on all the merchandise. The saddest moment being when he placed the ticket on his favourite item, his beloved computer mouse. It was ergonomically designed to conform to any hand, no matter how big or small, right or left. Many subjects of the kingdom had no use for a mouse as they had all moved to voice activated controls for their computers in the name of progress. As Mr. Little was about to close the doors for the last time, a business man asked to use the store’s phone. He had forgotten to recharge the batteries to his cellular phone. Mr. Little was happy to be of assistance and decided to take advantage of the last opportunity to save his beloved store. He told the businessman of his situation and discovered that this was Mr. Lion, the very man who was about to devour his business. “Please don’t close my store.” he pleaded. “I’m sure one day I could be of service to you.”
Mr. Lion laughed. “What could a business like yours do for me? Perhaps you could advise me on the stock exchange or on the latest technological advances.” he joked.
Mr. Little had no idea what to do. “Please, you’re my last hope for . . . ” he started to say when Mr. Lion interrupted.
“I’ve already closed a dozen or so small businesses this month. I suppose I could overlook this one a while longer.”
This made Mr. Little’s year. He was so happy that he insisted that Mr. Lion take his favouite mouse as a token of his appreciation. It was all he could offer the businessman. Mr. Lion accepted it. He remembered using a similar one in his childhood when the “mouse” was still common place. It was not much of a reward but Mr. Lion’s accountants could surely find some way of writing this act of generosity off his taxes. The two men then went on their way.
Some days later, while Mr. Lion was cruising the Internet, he received an urgent call from a business associate. It was the Yen. It was plummeting. Mr. Lion would have to act fast to trade all his business accounts before any real harm was done. “Computer, reboot financial files delta F90.” he said speaking into his headset, but the computer monitor in front of him didn’t change. Mr. Lion repeated his command to the computer, “Reboot financial files delta F90.” Suddenly, the computer virus detector icon began to flash. His verbal recognition program had been infected with a virus. Mr. Lion was trapped in the “net”.
Mr. Lion could not exit the program and the more he talked, the more data the computer tried to process, and the longer it would take to untangle himself. He looked around his office, desperate to think of how to free himself. He saw the yet unopened mouse sitting on his desk out of the corner of his eye. “That silly mouse! I’m afraid that outdated piece of technology won’t do me much good in a crisis like this.” he thought to himself. The problem was in the voice controls and not in the computer. “Of course, if I can only hook this thing up, I could close down the program manually.” Mr. Lion had finally realized. He hooked up the mouse and began to close file after file until he was finally free of the net. From here, it was no trouble for Mr. Lion to transfer his accounts and save his business.
It was now clear to Mr. Lion that the tax benefits could only take a second place to the good turn of Mr. Little giving him the mouse that saved his financial empire.
It's been an amusing afternoon re-reading old essays and short stories. I was a bit weary because your writing is never as good as you remember, but considering how old I was when I wrote them, and that I had only been at an English school for a couple of years, I was pretty impressed and highly amused.
Let me share when of the cuter stories with you. This is from a Grade 11 English unit on fractured fairy tales a la Politacally Correct Fairy Tales. This is my revision of Aesop's The Lion and the Mouse
The Lion and the Mouse: A Fractured Fairy Tale by Sarah
Once upon a time in a technologically oriented kingdom far, far away, there was a little computer store. As the kingdom grew, and the large monster businesses ate the little, independently owned business for breakfast, the little computer store was forced to file for bankruptcy. It was a sad day when Mr. Little went around placing the “reduced for final sale” tickets on all the merchandise. The saddest moment being when he placed the ticket on his favourite item, his beloved computer mouse. It was ergonomically designed to conform to any hand, no matter how big or small, right or left. Many subjects of the kingdom had no use for a mouse as they had all moved to voice activated controls for their computers in the name of progress. As Mr. Little was about to close the doors for the last time, a business man asked to use the store’s phone. He had forgotten to recharge the batteries to his cellular phone. Mr. Little was happy to be of assistance and decided to take advantage of the last opportunity to save his beloved store. He told the businessman of his situation and discovered that this was Mr. Lion, the very man who was about to devour his business. “Please don’t close my store.” he pleaded. “I’m sure one day I could be of service to you.”
Mr. Lion laughed. “What could a business like yours do for me? Perhaps you could advise me on the stock exchange or on the latest technological advances.” he joked.
Mr. Little had no idea what to do. “Please, you’re my last hope for . . . ” he started to say when Mr. Lion interrupted.
“I’ve already closed a dozen or so small businesses this month. I suppose I could overlook this one a while longer.”
This made Mr. Little’s year. He was so happy that he insisted that Mr. Lion take his favouite mouse as a token of his appreciation. It was all he could offer the businessman. Mr. Lion accepted it. He remembered using a similar one in his childhood when the “mouse” was still common place. It was not much of a reward but Mr. Lion’s accountants could surely find some way of writing this act of generosity off his taxes. The two men then went on their way.
Some days later, while Mr. Lion was cruising the Internet, he received an urgent call from a business associate. It was the Yen. It was plummeting. Mr. Lion would have to act fast to trade all his business accounts before any real harm was done. “Computer, reboot financial files delta F90.” he said speaking into his headset, but the computer monitor in front of him didn’t change. Mr. Lion repeated his command to the computer, “Reboot financial files delta F90.” Suddenly, the computer virus detector icon began to flash. His verbal recognition program had been infected with a virus. Mr. Lion was trapped in the “net”.
Mr. Lion could not exit the program and the more he talked, the more data the computer tried to process, and the longer it would take to untangle himself. He looked around his office, desperate to think of how to free himself. He saw the yet unopened mouse sitting on his desk out of the corner of his eye. “That silly mouse! I’m afraid that outdated piece of technology won’t do me much good in a crisis like this.” he thought to himself. The problem was in the voice controls and not in the computer. “Of course, if I can only hook this thing up, I could close down the program manually.” Mr. Lion had finally realized. He hooked up the mouse and began to close file after file until he was finally free of the net. From here, it was no trouble for Mr. Lion to transfer his accounts and save his business.
It was now clear to Mr. Lion that the tax benefits could only take a second place to the good turn of Mr. Little giving him the mouse that saved his financial empire.
